Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
