Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize