I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
