i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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