Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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