I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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