Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
