How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
