clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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