Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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