I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
