I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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