More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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