There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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