We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
