hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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