I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
