Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
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If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
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Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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