Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
