im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize