She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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