I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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