we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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