Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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