"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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