I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
