Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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