Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
