So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
