I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
