It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
