so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
