using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
