I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
