she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
