everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
