I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
