I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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