your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
