Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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