i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
