i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Randomize
