Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
