but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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