Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
