im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
