Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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