So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
