Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think I won the penis lottery.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
