for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
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You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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