i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
