Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize