after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
