everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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