God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She bit a glass in half.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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