You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
