im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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