Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
